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Beauty Was There

from WILD LOVE by Kellie Haddock

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about

This song begins three days after the car accident that killed my first husband, AJ. A few days after the initial shock of the accident, the doctor told me that our baby, if he survived, would likely never walk, talk or show emotion as a result of his injuries from the wreck. A group of friends and family gathered at AJ's parents house, speechless from grief. The pain so thick.

I wrote this song ten years later, looking back through all the years: So very many hard times, days that seemed impossible and never-ending. Tears that seemed pitifully insufficient to express the deep grief I felt. Being angry. Being brutally honest. Persevering to stay present, to grieve in healthy ways. To not run and hide from the emotions, but to keep feeling, even if feeling meant hurting.

That heart work eventually led to healing. I'm not even sure how or when; it was so gradual. But looking back, it was overwhelming to realizing that I was not made whole again on my own. I was never alone in my grief, not even for a moment, not even on the nights when I cried myself to sleep or cried myself awake. This song is a celebration of that faithfulness. It's an awakening to a reality that was hard to see in the midst of the pain but so evidently clear through the lens of hindsight: Beauty was there all along, protesting darkness till darkness was gone.

lyrics

As we gathered to talk and pray
Our hearts were numb from the pain
It hung like a dark cloud in the room
We were hurt and broken, confused

Instead of singing there was silence
Our heart strings throbbed
Like harp strings
We slid down the wall
And closed our eyes
Breathed in, breathed out a sigh

You were there with us then
You are here with us now
You’ve always been faithful
Always been beautiful
You’re with us in the battles
Standing in the shrapnel

We’ve been shelled out from the war
We’ve all been broken, all been torn
Our tired eyes strain to see
The smallest glimpse of eternity

Chorus

Beauty was there all along
Beauty was there singing its song
Protesting darkness
Till darkness was gone

credits

from WILD LOVE, released April 20, 2017

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Kellie Haddock image

Kellie Haddock Florida

Kellie is a singer, songwriter, wife and mom. Her powerful music draws from real-life stories of beauty, heartache, hope and the celebration of life.

The Thank You Project, featuring Kellie’s story of gratitude after tragedy, has attracted over 100 million views.

Kellie's performed in Iraq, China and across the U.S., offering music that engages the soul in all of its beauty and vulnerability. ... more

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